Gaia OnlineFrom WhatPort80  Gaia Online is a necessary evil of the internet. It consumes angsty teens and weeaboos like a black hole and contains the evil therein so the rest of the internet doesn't have to put up with it. This is largely considered to be a good thing, but sometimes the seams on this internet septic tank are leaky, and some of it spills out. It has always been a straight man's worst enemy and a huge contributor to the cancer killing the internet. The site is a microcosm of all the internet's crappy message boards, MySpace, MMORPGs, Chat rooms, and anything else you can think of that caters to weeaboos who enjoy the J-List catalogue, video games, and online role-playing. Certainly a fitting place for the people who go there. IMPORTANT! Gaia Online has been named one of the 50 Best Websites in 2008 by Time Magazine... See: Divide by zero From time to time a gaia fan will escape the cage and try to integrate into a less cancerous section of the internet, such as 4chan or ED. In this case, tolerance is your worst enemy: if you let one Gaia fan in, you let them all in. For every Gaia fan you see, there are 100 more lurking in the shadows. Genocide is the only solution. You will never find a group of people who are actually PEOPLE. They will pretend they are people until you let them in and the next thing you know, there are "spys sappin yur sentry's" What the hex Gaia?For all of you newcomers to Gaia, Gaia can pretty much be summarized in these collective and lulzy bullets:
TownsFor many idiots and ugly people, real life is too hard, so they stick to fake OL communities and worlds. The ugliest of the ugly sign up at Gaia Online and live in fake towns. It's bad enough that members are cybering themselves up in the game chats. Gaia towns is a bad ripoff of RO or Maple Story, only you CAN'T fight monsters, and the best damned thing is cleaning the town up. And noone cares about trash and bugs right? HousesThe biggest boom for the giant cyberland are the houses that users can go inside. They can be decorated with crappy stuff. Generally you can find all the cyber sexx0rz inside. The most popular fan base for a while was that of Peabulls (1000 b 1), which every wannabe /b/tard would frequent in order to become sleezy woman. People such as Greg, Neohart, and Noir Asuka were all banned for being weeaboos. These people who romp around the house showing off glitches and being as loud as they can are one example just of how low noobs will stoop to get noticed. Once the home of Peabulls lost its touch, all the noobs decided to migrate, but not so far that they would have to worry about losing the credibility of being an "oldbie" of a house that didn't belong to them. Now they reside inside Twobits' (1000 b 1) home, where they continue to act like everything they say and do is "super amazing" when really they are losers with no lives. No other houses deserve credit. Get over it, idiot. Gaia DramaThe mods of the site are constantly trying to find new ways to make money in order to create anti-lulz, "fix" bugs, or otherwise give in to user demands. However, most users are either ingrates or vaguely aware of the fact that they are being scammed, and as such whine about everything that the admins do, even if it's a good thing. Gaia Limited ItemsAmong the many Monthly Collectibles that users spend real money on, there are a few that are un-obtainable unless you've spent a good 4 to 5 years and a couple thousand dollars on the site. Examples include the Angelic Halo, Panda Hat, & The Devil Tail. Despite the fact that they've been told numerous times that they won't be re-released, users continue to complain in the Site Feedback about how great it would be to get a re-release. Gaia also has their own Zombie skin (Or "Grombie" skin) which makes your avatar look like a stoner. It is no longer obtainable by anyone except the people that have spent 3 years on the site. This has also caused loads of whining by both the people who actually have the skin (2000 or so) and the n00bs who just joined the site and want to make their avatar look like it's on drugs. Finally the staff released a knock-off of the skin in the hopes of shutting the whiny new users up.   OMG FURRIESDespite the fact that furrys and Gaia users are essentially synonymous, if not completely, and though there's little question, you might still ask why (if you're REALLY stupid). Of course, since Gaia is an XBOX HUEG pile of crap, furries are attracted to it like an industrial magnet. One of the September items was an item that turned you into a BJD, a Dragon, a Human Torch knockoff, a zombie, some sort of shiny metal thing, and a 'feline skin'. Naturally, upon seeing this, every furry within earshot suddenly ran to the site to buy the item and turn into some sort of cat or lizard (lol scaley). This, included with an item that allowed you to wear fig leaves instead of underwear, led to a run of all kinds of furries running around and pretending to be naked. However the raptor skin has no need for it since you're naked once you turn into one. Though the avatars on Gaia had no genitals to speak of, some furries were able to retrofit a robotic wang to their avatar and set about traumatizing the population of Gaia despite already being responsible for the ascendancy of their lives into pure idiocy. On November 15 2007 the site released an item that has three furries. A wolf whose butt is bigger than Texas, a tiger no one gives cares about, and a Chocobo that Final Fantasy 7 fanboys went crazy about. Like the September item that turns you into a furry, it caused furrys to strip naked using the leaf item and start yiffing (mainly the wolf). However, like September's items, the users forgot the avatars have no genitals. Stupid furries. LAWL THEY`RE AFRAID OF ANONYMOUS! Recently the developers made it so you can't say the word Pedobear. Their reason is that they're "afraid that predators will infest the site trying to get little children to come to their house" but really the reason is that they're afraid of Anonymous. Looks like they'll be buying curtains, phoneline trackers, advanced security systems and A DOG!  Fun Fun Update: Gaia has caved to the masses like the schoolgirls they are and have released the orphans from the Christmas event to the users. Users can now openly show their pedo pride. Bonus lulz: A previously unreleased orphan is actually Chris Hansen disguised as Pedobear. Run, Pedobear! IT'S A TRAP! QuestsTalk to an NPC, do what he tells you to do, speak to him again, claim your prize. Though seemingly routine, these quests have been proven to contain dangerously high levels of idiocy, and should not be played by those not already afflicted by the condition. On Sept 24, 2007, the admins decided to give the weeaboos what they wanted: a Naruto quest. This led to over 9000 Narutards going crazy. After following through with their obligatory consumer worship, it was revealed that the items themselves were merely Japanese-themed items stamped with the Ubisoft logo, effectively turning Gaia fans into walking ads for Ubisoft by tricking them into thinking the prizes were Naruto merchandise of some kind. However on March 18, 2008 the admins decided to give what the losers want and gave them Kunais. So now Gaia fans everywhere will have these things on hand. E-GIRLSYes, those girls that are constantly posting their pictures on their profile with the SOLE purpose of having to grab attention from lonely rich Gaian idiots that will go to all lengths and extensions to give them items. Can be commonly associated with the known Attention seeker, but this time they just exchange cyber sex, or naked pictures in their cameras for internet currency and items that are worth nothing in the real world, but make them feel like uber awesome in Gaia. Common e-whores in Gaia are usually not known at first, and then they hook up with the first rich loser they can snag. He's usually single, lonely, probably a loser in real life, and might have been interested in having a relationship with the cute girl that he saw as he stumbled on to check out profiles. The loser behind the pixelated richness is none-other than o-so cheap to snag a girl in real life, and rather just use his internet worth because his pictures might be so incredibly hideous. The e-girl can sometimes be pretty, and they take no consideration of the previous relationships or the current relationships and status of their next victim. Inter-Forum DramaAs with any amazing forums-based website, with it comes a share of typical drama. The typical reason for inter-forum drama is that a GDer gets angry at someone in another forum and turns half the GD against them in a flurry of over 9000 trolls. The typical forums raided are ED, GCD and, occasionally, A/M/C. Known people to cause drama are:
How To Be A Great Gaia Celebrity
Stolen Memes and The Second Longcat Crusade  Jesus they really did It wasn't too long ago that the losers at Gaia Online stole many of Anonymous's cherished memes and turned them into items.
The ConversationThe conversation happened between 8:50 to 9:15 PM on 3/26/2008 and was an important step forward in proving that the mods don't care about the lulz, or what anon can do to them! --- (8:51:16 PM) narutokip: rob starkey? (8:51:59 PM) rob: Who's this? (8:52:12 PM) narutokip: I asked first. (8:52:23 PM) rob: No time for games. (8:52:39 PM) narutokip: Serious business. (8:52:45 PM) rob: Seeya. (8:52:46 PM) rob left the room.
(8:53:11 PM) narutokip: Not so fast, rob. (8:53:15 PM) narutokip: I'd like to chat. (8:53:18 PM) narutokip: If you're all right with that. (8:53:47 PM) rob: You can chat all you want but I won't be participating unless you tell me who are. (8:54:01 PM) narutokip: Well, actually, I don't know how I got here. (8:54:12 PM) narutokip: But I'm nobody important (8:54:25 PM) rob: Then what do you want? (8:54:44 PM) narutokip: Longcat. Did it ever occur to you the chans might not be thrilled you made an item out of a beloved meme? (8:56:17 PM) narutokip: look, I don't even know who you are (8:56:32 PM) rob: Everyone will have their own view and opinion, you're welcome to yours. (8:56:42 PM) narutokip: but Anonymous certainly isn't happy that you've commercialized what is essentially their creation (8:56:48 PM) rob: If you don't know who I am, then why are you talking to me? (8:56:51 PM) narutokip: i would suggest you stop selling it for real money. (8:56:59 PM) narutokip: i'm assuming you hold SOME position at gaia (8:57:09 PM) narutokip: So i thought I would pass along what I've heard. (8:57:20 PM) rob: OR what? You're going to explode my yellow van? (8:57:43 PM) narutokip: Something along those lines, probably, yeah. (8:58:07 PM) narutokip: I would like to ask though, what is the purpose of stealing memes such as Epic Fail Guy and Longcat? (8:58:16 PM) rob: Great, thanks. I'm logging your IP and passing this conversation to our legal team. (8:58:21 PM) narutokip: fantastic. (8:58:34 PM) rob: have a great day. (8:58:49 PM) narutokip: A) I haven't made any threats B) I am not PART of anonymous C) I would simply like to talk to you, if you're okay with that (8:59:08 PM) narutokip: If I were going to make threats to you, I would be behind seven proxies (8:59:34 PM) rob: This isn't the venue doe this type of conversation. (8:59:43 PM) narutokip: what? (8:59:47 PM) narutokip: typo? (8:59:57 PM) rob: Nor am I even close to the right person for you to speak to about such things. (9:00:14 PM) rob: Do like everyone else and voice your concerns via our site. (9:00:43 PM) narutokip: Well wait, you have access to the legal team, so obviously you're pretty important within the company (9:01:09 PM) rob: It's an email address. (9:01:21 PM) narutokip: And not everyone knows it. (9:01:29 PM) narutokip: So again, I stand by my earlier assesment (9:01:34 PM) rob: everyone who works at gaia does. (9:01:35 PM) narutokip: you're probably pretty important (9:01:48 PM) narutokip: Uh-huh. (9:01:56 PM) narutokip: Whatever the case, I have a very simple question for you. (9:02:08 PM) narutokip: WHY take these memes and make money off of them? (9:02:40 PM) narutokip: I would not consider myself an Anonymous, but even with Monorail Cat... I like LOLcats, they represent the independent (NOT CORPORATE) spirit of the internet (9:02:46 PM) narutokip: why take them and make money off of them? (9:03:04 PM) narutokip: gaia gold, i could understand, but REAL money? (9:05:32 PM) narutokip: Thank you for ignoring me. (9:05:38 PM) narutokip: It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. (9:06:12 PM) rob: I dunno what you're looking for. (9:06:26 PM) rob: I've already explained to you that I'm not the right person to answer your question. (9:06:30 PM) narutokip: I'd just like an explanation. Or an apology, rather. (9:06:34 PM) narutokip: Rob Starkey? (9:06:49 PM) narutokip: As I understand it, you're pretty serious business. (9:07:11 PM) narutokip: So I would like some explanation, or maybe you could send this to the legal team, for an explanation about the bastardization of beloved memes. (9:07:44 PM) rob: You'd like me (gaia) to apologize for making some art based off a joke? (9:08:03 PM) narutokip: Not that, really, as much as the fact you're making money off of it. (9:08:08 PM) narutokip: REAL money. (9:08:12 PM) narutokip: Like, actually selling the item. (9:09:09 PM) rob: We're selling a Gaia Item, based off a joke. (9:09:23 PM) rob: And not even the item directly. (9:09:34 PM) rob: So, again, I'm not the person you need to talk to. (9:09:45 PM) rob: Post your concerns in the forum like everyone else. (9:09:46 PM) narutokip: No, I think you are, Mr. Starkey. (9:11:07 PM) rob: So I guess we're at an impasse. Good day. (9:12:08 PM) narutokip: We'll be seeing you. (9:12:35 PM) rob: Give my best to anonymous. (9:13:16 PM) narutokip: Seeing as your feeble attempts to dodge an explanation are all in this log, I guess I will be. What Happened AfterwordEventually, after speaking to another sysadmin, the #op room was flooded with bots. For some reason. Anyway, eventually Anonymous decided to try and invade an unused, enemy IRC server, resulting in many glines. Despite being a stupid idea to actually try and set up a raiding base there, the conversations logged are generally characterized as win. Retrieved from "http://www.partyvan.info/index.php/Gaia/robspeaks" RICKROLL HAS BEEN ADDED TO GAIA    Another meme has been spotted on Gaia. On May 07, 2008, Gaia online took the RickRoll meme and used it for their virtual store update. Realizing that most of their fans flood /b/chan anyway, they try and cater to the meme-spouting masses and take one of /b/'s most beloved icons and stolen it.  OMG ACTIVE ITEMS!It was stated last thursday on gaia that they released what appeared to be an active item by the name of Faunzy's Flute. It has been noted to have the ability to Rip any jukebox like items in a gaia users inventory a new orifice. Gaia PromThis just in: Gaia has decided, since most of it's loser users are too busy being cancerous growths to get a life, to make a Gaia Prom! Nothing moar needs to be said. It was worse than you could imagine. Gaia took the opportunity to further promote disease by enlisting the winner of something called " Project Runway " to "design" items for this sphincter of an event. And of course the Cash Shop was flooded with the garbage on a weekly basis. It was sickening. Gaia made a killing off of the proceeds. Attention whores and 16 year old girls were pandemic. The guy in question, one Christian Siriano, was then added as an NPC and It took up residence in the " Barton Boutique" shop. Pictures showing the happy couple are unavailable, fortunately. Apparently, the big pay-off for this so-called event was the privilege of playing a crappy flash version of the completely stupid DDR game, and having your picture taken with a virtual rendition of Siriano Itself! And the idiots LOVED it! Raiding An elite group of Special Forces was formed, and took it upon themselves to conduct raids against gaia users. They are secretive, and thus have no name outside of their group. They quickly overtake a Gaia users RP thread, changing the subject, creating chaos and unsettling the ranks of the losers. They then claim the thread, in the names of many people. This upsets the idiots greatly, and they go and moan to the mods. The losers aren't efficient enough, and the soldiers finish their job, leaving once the posters have been upset to a point that they no longer post. Thusly the battle is declared a victory, and the raiders move on to a new e-battlefield, annoying dozens of furry-lovers. Eventually the moderators catch up, and usually the next day these brave soldiers are permabanned, declared KIA. They are reincarnated, and continue their work.
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