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Mario

From WhatPort80

Mario is fat.

Mario is the fat, Italian plumber who has become Nintendo's poster boy of gaming. He has starred in many (roughly 90%) of Nintendo games due to anything with his face on it selling like crazy.

The Games

Donkey Kong

Mario in his fur suit.

One lonely evening, our plumber "hero" Mario hit the Italian turpentine and decided to attempt the theft of another man's girlfriend, Pauline. It should be noted here that the "other man" was actually a gigantic ape named Donkey Kong. He succeeded in luring Pauline away from the ape and nearly eradicated his new girlfriend's former lover after giving him a cap in the butt. Why anybody would desire to be with a woman previously attached to an ape is, to this day, unexplained.

Super Mario Bros.

In this epic tale, Mario teams up with his brother, Luigi, and they venture off on a mission to slaughter a beast named Bowser who has imprisoned Mario's newest flame, Princess Peach. Pauline is MIA in this story arc and is, in fact, never mentioned or spoken of again.

One of Miyamoto's early character sketches for Luigi.

Super Mario Bros 2

Mario, Luigi, a midget resembling a mushroom and Mario's longest lasting girlfriend, Princess Peach, team up and battle (get a load of this...) a frog. They proceed to kill the frog and throw it into a giant blender. No explanation is offered for their violent destruction of the frog. Some argue that Mario's hatred of the French is to blame.

Super Mario Bros. 3

In yet another epic tale of plunder and woe, Bowser returns and reclaims his throne as the King of the Mushroom Empire, installing his progeny of evil dictators as puppet rulers of the various Kingdoms inside the Mushroom Empire. Mario received entrance into the fungal world and immediately began a violent, blood fueled quest, murdering the children and followers of the King Koopa. After slaughtering all of Koopa's children, Mario pulled out the shock and awe on Bowser himself! It was the greatest selling console game of all time.

Super Mario World

GTFO

The same game as 3, but for the Super Nintendo. The only difference is that this time you get to ride a dinosaur named Yoshi AND ZOMG YOU GET A CAPE INSTEAD OF A TAIL!

Mario is Missing!

Despite their previous alliance, in this Mario Brothers tale Bowser sets up a castle in Antarctica, and implements mass scale ecocide on the Antarctic by melting it with hair dryers. Mario, Luigi and Yoshi journey to Bowser's castle to avert his devious plan to flood the Earth but their quest is disrupted when Mario is captured by Bowser. It is then left to Luigi and Yoshi to save the day.

The PC version of the game gave birth to the meme known as Weegee.

Super Mario 64

IT IS DELICIOUS CAEK. YOU MUST EAT IT.

Same, same, but different. In this game you just run around (in 3D) and collect stars (yes, it's always freaking stars...) in order to save the needy Princess Peach from Bowser... AGAIN. Originally released in 1996 on the Nintendo 64 (ZOMG 64-BIT GRAPHICS) but was then re-released on the Nintendo DS where you were also given the chance to play as either Luigi, Wario or Yoshi.

Super Smash Bros.

A Nintendo fanboy's dream come to life. The game is basically a giant crapfest of various Nintendo characters beating the hell out of each other.

Super Mario Sunshine

The Japanese <3 Mario.

Mario flies around on a water jet pack for 20 hours until you get bored to death.

"New" Super Mario Bros.

Takes the original mario brothers game, adds some 3D graphix, and mushrooms that make you even bigger than before.

Super Mario Galaxy

For the love of... NO MORE MARIO PLZ. Yet again, Bowser kidnaps Princess Peach and Mario is sent off on a mission to retrieve his beloved. This game was released for the Nintendo Wii in 2007.

Super Mario Galaxy 2

OH COME ON! Are you even trying anymore? Basically the same premise as the last game but now you can use Yoshi, which is almost identical to Yoshi in Super Mario Sunshine. So now we got rehashes of TWO Mario games. Thanks for the original content, Nintendo!

New Super Mario Bros. Wii

Even MOAR original Mario Brothers with even moar graphix. Surprised they didn't use their corny naming convention for wii games, like "Wii are Mario brothers" or some crap like that.

Gallery

Galleria of Mario

Uh wut?

Mario at the peak of stardom.

Mario, doing what he does best.

MOAR MARIO PLZTHNX.

The exciting story of a typical Mario game.	Mario betrays his "friends" constantly.	Mario in his latest hit game, Mario Moonshine	Twins.
Mario becomes an hero.	Super Mario Bros. in all its graphic detail.	An album cover that someone removed the band name from.	Mario before 10AM.
Awesome Mario	What if Mario was originally black?	Mario can't be hurt...	Mario MSPaint Relationship Thread
Those mushrooms must be effecting his brain.	Somehow, the internet manages to make everything more lame.	Who the takes their time to draw this crap?