From WhatPort80

The Wapanese (also called "Japanophiles" or "Weeaboo") are the like the Dungeons and Dragons kids of this generation. They obsess over anime and anything Japanese in general. In short, they are people who believe they should have been born Japanese and take pride in the fact that they are abandoning their first culture for one they have deemed superior. Given that, upon the discovery of an Asian that does not truly appreciate their own culture by not being into Anime and the like, the general Weeaboo will try to "save" the Asian and attempt to force them into liking their version of that person's culture.

If you happen to see a Wap on the prowl, make no attempt to engage it in conversation. But curse it in silence, for it is the bane of American youth.

“	Im looking for a bento box, it cant be pinku (thats japanese for pink) or any girl color. It has to be of 2 or more kotoba (that's japanese for 2 compartments) and has be be chibi(small) sized. And has to be really kawaii (cute). Also It has to be about 10-20 bux. And you have to post pics of it first (i want to make sure it's kawaii [cute]). And it would be nice if it came with matching chopstick holder (WITH chopsticks). OH! and it CANNOT have any cartoon pictures, or be made out of plastic. It has to be made of ceramic, or something like that. Also it would be nice if it was made in japan. and not in china or corea (korea) or whatever. I have found a bento box similar to the one im describing in e-bay, but it was 1 kotoba, and i don't want my gohan (rice) to touch my other things (it can get wet and i would not like that, plus 2 compartments looks more kawaii)	„
— You

Contents 1 Origins of the Name 2 Noted Weeaboo Behavior 2.1 General Wapanese 2.2 Wapanese in Denial 2.3 Hypocrite Wapanese 3 Appearance 4 Wapanese as a Language 4.1 Useful Wapanese Phrases 5 Mating Habits 6 How Weeaboo are you? 6.1 Merchandise Questions 6.2 Extracurricular Activities Questions 6.3 Cuisine Questions 6.4 Language "Abilities" Questions 6.5 Employment History Questions 6.6 Habits Questions 6.7 Preferences Questions 6.8 Miscellaneous Questions 7 Gallery ^______^ 8 See Also 9 External Links

Origins of the Name

The origin of 'Wapanese' is pretty obvious; its a portmanteau of "White" (The most common flavor of japanophile) and "Japanese". Alternatively, it may be a portmanteau of "wannabe" and "Japanese", which would make just as much sense. But how did Weeaboo come to mean wapanese? According to legend, Moot made a word filter for 4chan that replaces the word wapanese with weeaboo, in attempt to curb anti-wapanese sentiments. The word itself was picked arbitrarily and comes from a comic strip called Perry Bible Fellowship.

Weeaboos may or may not refer to themselves as Otaku, a term loosely translated as "fan" in Japanese. However, in Japan, most commonly it is used in an extremely negative sense due to the fact that it carries connotations of extreme obsession - no surprise there. They will never refer to themselves as weeaboos or wapanese, but may use Japanophile.

Most Wapanese imagine Japan™ is a place where the trees are made of Pocky, cities are made of Nintendo Wiis, and schoolgirl loli and/or slender, eyebrow-plucked boy-men are all too happy to prostrate themselves and surrender to the Wap's sickly embrace. This, however, is inconsequential, as most Wapanese will never step foot in Japan, nor gain any more mastery over its language than a crack-addled chimp with Tourette's (that is to say, none at all), and no self respecting Japanese person anyone would be caught dead with them. Trapped in its native country, the average Wapanese will frequent sushi bars or the Panda Express (despite the fact that the latter is Chinese food -- silly wap!), as well as Sanrio stores to stock up on pink, overpriced crap that, while featuring Hello Kitty, was probably made in China.

In the extremely unlikely event that the weeaboo in question does make it to Japan, one of two things will happen: Either they remain under their delusion that they will be accepted into the local mecha unit and get married to a local girl next month, or they'll face the harsh reality that they know virtually nothing about the country and will find themselves rejected by a fairly insular and kind of racist society (Chances are "Gaijin" isn't in their vocabulary prior to this point).

Noted Weeaboo Behavior

There are many telltale signs of Wapanese, the biggest one being that they will refer to each other as Otaku and say things like 'kawaii desu yo!'. Other warning signs include:

General Wapanese

• Visits FYE/Sanrio stores in their local malls to stock up on weeaboo supplies.
• Visits Panda Express after a pocky orgy to stuff their fat, pimple-ridden teenage mouths with cheaply-made sushi (despite it being made by Chinese immigrants as opposed to Japanese).
• Upon the sighting of a fellow weeaboo, there is much hissing and fighting about how the other is a poser and does not truly appreciate Japanese culture. Note: If confronted about not actually having ever spoken to a real Japanese person or traveled to Japan, they start to sweat profusely which only adds to the unbathed stench that is associated with the common weeaboo.
• If a weeaboo is suddenly dropped into their preferred habitat and suddenly removed, one will expect to listen to said weeaboo whine about wanting to return to the promised weealand, and profusely complain about their original habitat upon returning to it.
• If a Wapanese cannot master the Japanese language in time to go to Japan, the yearly ComicCon in San Diego is the next dwelling of choice.
• Listens to obscure J-rock bands nobody has ever heard of.
• Stubbornly sticks by their belief that every male in Japan is a hermaphroditic transvestite.
• Has a life dream to not only to go to Japan, but also to break into the anime, manga or video game industry and hook up with all the blond-haired, blue-eyed Japanese boys/girls they saw in Naruto.
• Collecting cheap, knock-off katanas and posing in photos with them is a common Wapanese habit.
• Nearly all Wapanese have at least one account on Gaia Online or DeviantART.
• Wapanese tend to take in the local Asian culture festival every spring, no matter how viciously dull it is.
• Use Japanese characters -- poorly -- in their LiveJournal interests.
• Wants to go to Japan and only Japan to meet the (Japanese) love of their life.
• Username and/or 99.9% of their friendlist's names end in "u", "i" or "-chan".
• Usually saving up for their next trip to Japan, so they can buy a Lolita dress that their fat will spill out of, which most likely will be worn with striped socks and Hot Topic $20 shoes.
• If not saving up for an authentic Lolita dress, they buy a cheaply-made Hot Topic version and wear it 24/7.
• If a weeaboo happens to be particularly wealthy, they may be spotted carrying a little Dollfie around with them dressed up in meticulously hand-sewn clothing imported from New Jersey.
• Claims that the animu genre of "Harem Comedy" is funny.
• Has an account on crunchyroll.
• Japanophiles insist on using chopsticks to in the consumption of everything from hamburgers to aspirin.
• Wapanese are inconsistent with their bathing, as they have no time for such concerns. They are usually too wrapped up in weeaboo activities.

Wapanese in Denial

• Throw fits when confronted on being a Wapanese/Japanophile and then attacks the protagonist with cheap, knock-off ninja weaponry.
• Can be found religiously on 4chan. (See also: the cancer that is killing /b/)
• Attempts to counteract any well-known symptoms of the Wapanese.
• Has an aneurysm whenever someone around them speaks actual Japanese.

Hypocrite Wapanese

A hypocrite Wapanese is almost identical to the Wapanese in denial, though the hypocrite version tends to be more annoying. This type prances about claiming they hate Wapanese, but secumb to fits of joy when given the opportunity to go to Japan.

• A hypocrite Wapanese living in Japan will last about 2 weeks before returning home, realizing that the great Hide Matsumoto is dead and no self-respecting Japanese will pay any attention to them.
• Music interests (usually -J-POP or J-ROCK) change weekly.
• Attends anime conventions. Wouldn't deign to cosplay as animu/manga characters, but often goes to check out the J-bands.
• Has a DevianTART account filled with crappy anime drawings of catgirls and lots of emo poetry.
• Tend to be under the age of 17.
• Probably dress in Lolita, Decora, EGL, or any annoying fashion that the Japanese use to lure in Wapanese beaucoup bucks.
• Possess a tattoo in Japanese characters, something meaning "hope," "prosperity", "love", or something equally stupid.
• Learn what little Japanese they know purely from watching anime.

Appearance

In photographs, a Wapanese will always be shown making a peace sign with one hand while squinting their eyes and contorting their facial features into a grotesque imitation of the ^_^ smiley. Females have a compulsive need to wear at least one item of Hello Kitty clothing at all times and truly desperate Wapanese will wear loads of eyeliner and fake eyelashes to make their eyes appear pointier.

Wapanese as a Language

Wapanese have a tendency to mercilessly butcher the Japanese and English languages by throwing around random words and phrases whilst completely ignorant to what they mean. For this reason, the term "Wapanese" can also refer to the language spoken by such sad individuals. A notable Wapanese habit is pretending to know the Japanese language by constantly professing:"I know Japanese!! Kawaii!!" when a Japanese wanders into their vicinity, but most Wapanese cannot actually sustain a conversation for more than five seconds with an actual Japanese person.

Useful Wapanese Phrases

These commonly used words may help you identify a Wapanese in the event their sad, pleadingly pitiful appearance isn't a dead giveaway:

1. "Kawaii!" (Wapanese standard warning for, "Do not look directly at for fear of being blinded.")
2. "Konnichiha!" (Weeaboo mating call)
3. "Baka!" (Used to express anger uopn the discovery of another weeaboo that wandered into its territory.)
4. "-chan" (Must be appended to every name to make it sound "cute." Like how Anonymous does with his favourite camwhores.)
5. "Sugoi!" {Phrase said when they're sure they've found their new mating partner, possibly Japanese, or Asian, but probably another Weeaboo such as themselves.)
6. "Ne!" (Usually said after sentences as a sign for the listener to punch them in the face. Is actually equivalent to amirite, but no Wapanese realize this as it would entail actual knowledge of the language.)
7. "Itai" (Heard when Wapanese hurt themselves. Signals the listener to hurt them more.)
8. "Desu!" (Wapanese place this at the end of every sentence, Desu!, regardless of its contextual inaccuracy. Popularized by the Rozen Maiden Animu, Amuria and other such failings. However, DESU! spam may be appropriate in the context of a raid, Trolling or some other epic maneuver provided that lulz are the objective.)

It is important not to confuse Wapanese, which is broken Japanese spoken by English-speakers, with Engrish, which is broken English spoken by Japanese all Asians.

Mating Habits

While most Wapanese maintain that they will only settle for a real-live Japanese, most of them invariably end up settling for another Wapanese. The pair will go about collecting all sorts of little Japanese trinkets together, partake in the viewing of animes like Naruto and Pokemon, and converse solely in Wapanese (see above).

A few Wapanese will manage to find an Asian mate, but such Asians usually are just seeking a green card. Fewer still are the Wapanese who manage to find and not alienate a Japanese with their overwhelming misunderstanding fanboyism of Japanese culture. These Waps are usually so elated to actually hold the hand of a Japanese person that they fail to realize their Japanese girl/boyfriend is also only in it for the green card and has few feelings other than embarrassed disdain for them.

Whilst the Wapanese paired with Asian mates consider themselves cool and refrain from talking to their American friends, plan on moving to rural Japan with their beloved to live on a farm like a Hayao Miyazaki film, buy a Nissan Skyline GTR and raise a whole litter of hafu children, their Japanese spouses are counting the days until they're naturalized citizens, and can divorce without the threat of being deported.

How Weeaboo are you?

Ladies and Gentlemen! Are you a normal person or a Weaboo? Answer "yes" or "no" to each of the following questions to let this quiz decide for you.

Merchandise Questions

• Have you ever bought or read any manga of any sort?
  • Did you enjoy it?
• Have you watched any anime of any sort?
  • Did you enjoy it?
• Do you argue with your friends about anime?
  • Do you win these arguments?
• Do you have own any anime posters?
• Do you have any clothing with anime characters printed on them?
  • Is this most/all of your clothing?
• Do you own a Naruto headband?
  • Do you wear it in public?
• Do you own a katana?
  • Is it a knock-off?
    • Have you ever posed with it when getting your picture taken?
• Do you own a Dollfie?

Extracurricular Activities Questions

• Have you ever made an AMV?
  • Was it a Naruto AMV?
• Do you have a DevianTART account?
  • If so, do you contribute lots and lots of anime fanart?
    • Was any of it furry art?
• Do you browse 2chan, 4chan, 7chan, 420chan etc?
  • Are you a full-blown /b/tard?
• Do you own a Gaia account?
• Do you make tabs of J-ROCK or J-POP songs?
  • Do you then illegally pirate mp3s of these songs?

Cuisine Questions

• Have you ever eaten Japanese food?
  • Did you enjoy it?
• Do you go to Asian food markets just to stock up on ramen for the month?
• Do you go to Japanese food restaurants just because they’re Japanese?
• Do you use chopsticks instead of a knife and fork?
• Do you prefer the Japanese Hi-Chew instead of the American one?
• Do you like Pocky?
  • How about Ramuné?
• Have you ever enjoyed a Japanese product or thought of doing so?

Language "Abilities" Questions

• Has any Japanese person ever commented on how badly you butcher the Japanese language?
• Have you tried learning Japanese for a reason other than business?
  • Was it just to watch anime?
• Have you ever subbed anything for Dattebayo or the like, or are you attempting to study Japanese just so you can join such a group?
• Are the words baka, kawaii, sugoi, etc. part of your daily vocabulary?
• DESU?
• やらないか?
• これ読める?　日本人じゃないのにこの文章を読める場合、ささっと死に腐るべし! (^O^) (click the emoticon to Google translate this sentence)
  • Did you just Google translate the above Japanese sentences since you MUST know what it's saying and it's moar than the one Japanese word you know?
  • Did you make any corrections to the any of the above Japanese sentences to make them more "authentic"?

Employment History Questions

• Have you been to an anime con?
  • Have you worked at a con?

Habits Questions

• Do you use the ^_^, T_T, ., etc. expressions?
• If you are female, do you make kawaii neko sounds at the annoyance of others?

Preferences Questions

• Do you have a fetish for Asian men and/or women?
• Is a cat fine too?
• Is it awwwright?

Miscellaneous Questions

• Are you familiar with any Japanese dance choreography?
  • Does it include Caramelldansen, Otagei or Hare Hare Yukai?

Did you answer "yes" to any of these questions? Congratulations, you're a weeaboo!

Gallery ^______^

Weaboo Gallery ^______^

A female in the advanced stages of the disease. Beware: could be possibly fatally contagious. Japanada. Srsly NINJA ATTACK O(^-^)o~!

trying to fit in... Weeaboo Orgy Note again the use of the Squint Tactic. Weeaboo who is trying to impersonate Sayuri from Memoirs of a Geisha. She wants to be Japanese, obviously. Underneath that armor is the pasty face of the great white Weeaboo. Typical weeaboo cuisine. I can't score here, but surely I will in Japan. From the same guy as the previous picture; No wonder he can't score here. A black girl imitating a Japanese girl imitating a white girlmybrainjustoverloaded Proof that the weeaboo plague isn't limited to USA If you see someone dressed like this, he's Wapanese. All fangirls want to go to Japan and find their Gackt. How will they handle reality? What to tell Wapanese kids DevianTART is the main breeding grounds for Weeaboos. Immortal Geisha is the main breeding grounds for rich Weeaboos. A weeaboo in its natural habitat. Note the staple hand gesture and the squint of wannabe Asian-ness. Srsly, why do they try? >9000 hours in MS Paint Typical Wapanese diet. She wants brains! And for you to buy her newest line of cute crap! Boy George, a famous Japanophile/homosexual. O...M...G...! OMG HELLO KITTY DESU *O*

See Also

• Caramelldansen - Weeaboo mating ritual (most often fails)
• Animu - What Weeaboos worship to.
• Gaia Online - Weeaboo Heaven. Hell for the rest of us.
• Japan

External Links

• Weeaboo.com