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Portal

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I've experiments to run

There is research to be done
On the people who are
Still alive



Login from ApertureScience.com found on one of the walls in Portal.
Login from ApertureScience.com found on one of the walls in Portal.

Portal is a game set in the Half-Life universe, and is almost as enjoyable as Battletoads, as you cannot go five minutes on /b/ or /v/ without seeing that goddamn Companion Cube. The game centers around Chell, a woman trapped within Aperture Science Enrichment Center - most likely because she refused to make her faithful husband, Gordon Freeman, a turkey and ham sammich. She's then given the ability to bend the space-time continuum, and decides to make a run for it. There is clear evidence that at least one of the developers of the game is a /b/tard, as the entire game is basically the most complex and awesome delicious cake puzzle, as often found on /b/.

Portal: 2D

For people too poor to afford a gaming PC, Playstation 3, or an Xbox 360, or for people who are too cheap to spend fifty dollars on Valve's Orange Box, there's an unofficial flash version which is about a hundred times more boring than the original, and completely lacks GLaDOS' commentary and any traces of dark humor. Because of this game, and because of how easy it is to make screenshots, forums were packed with solution requests upon its release, because some people like the gratification of solving puzzles without doing any of the actual puzzle solving. The only people who request solutions now are slowpokes who deserve to be ignored. If you want to, for whatever reason, you can buy the 3D game off Steam's website for $20. The Flash version has everything you could want, except with fewer "Cake is a lie" easter eggs.

The Copypasta

I went on a second date with a chick I really liked tonight. At the end of the date, I didn’t take any chance I had to kiss her. So we were driving back home in separate cars (she lives close to me, but she was came from a friends house to meet me at the restaurant) I realized that I was an idiot for not taking the chance. I decided to make a chance and be really spontaneous. I was going to race ahead to her house, wait for her drive up, run out of the car and kiss her. So I pull the corner to see her house and SHE THOUGHT WITH PORTALS! She was already there, out of the car, and the garage door was closing! Despite me being ahead of her the whole time!

So I ask, /b/, how do -I- think with portals?

Now You Are Thinking With Portals

See Also

External Links