From WhatPort80

OH NOES!! Have fun going to an expensive, prestigious university. Have fun entering the workforce in debt. Have fun with the realization that it never really mattered what school you went to. Have fun with the fact that the idiot from your college dorm is now your boss.!!#!

Unrealistic Expectations, the notion that great things will magically happen to you, are quite common in this, the pre-apocalyptic grim-yet-lulzy days of the internet.

While unrealistic expectations have always been problematic for some, with the death of proper corporal punishment in so-called "civilized society" and the discovery of the Internets, things have gone from that which one's eyes could ignore to the present, unbearable state where one is forced to constantly confront the deluded self-aggrandizing hopes of a multitude of friends, bloggers, website owners, web community users -- and the eventual froth of disappointment and depression when the stark reality of life finally begins to sink in.

Unrealistic Expectations of Bloggers

From the few successes of bloggers, such as Michelle Malkin and Daily Kos, everyone and their uncle thinks that they're going to be the next big blog.

Unfortunately, they all neglect the fact that all blogs say the same thing. It isn't exactly innovative when there are over 9000 blogs all writing about how ZOMG George Bush is evil or that Barack Obama is the omg Christchild.

Sure, you may make five dollars on Google advertising or your Cafepress bumper stickers, but in the end, you still fail.

Unrealistic Expectations of Meme Forcers

Congrats, Deviantart Tart. you have discovered 4chan. And with it, you have realized that the entire internet comes from this place, which gives you one stunning conclusion: This is the place to become internet famous.

So you spend all day using proxies to force some crappy phrase or picture into being the next Chocklit Reign, only it won't. You are an idiot. I know it. They know it. Maybe even you know it.

Stop while you still have some self-respect.

Unrealistic Expectations in MySpace or Facebook

The main unrealistic expectation is obvious; the belief that your friends list is really a list of your friends. Other unrealistic expectations include:

• Thinking people look like their avatars.
• Falling for "chain letter" bulletins.
• Believing on-line friends are actually your friends IRL.
• Thinking you'll actually ever see the $100 laptop you just won.
• That there is a such thing as a "MySpace tracker".
• Delusion that just because you shave your eyebrows off, have brightly colored hair, make crappy electronic music and wear clown-level amounts of makeup, that you're going to be the next American Idol.

Unrealistic Expectations of DevianTartlets

Wow. You've just spent the last week not working or doing your school work so you can finish that MS paint picture of Sonic the Hedgehog which will seal your place in the annals of art history. You win the prize.

DevianTartlets believe that by posting their untalented myspace camera flare shots, they'll be OMG discovered and join the ranks of celebrity. To date, none of them have. DeviantArtlets also believe by having five thousands comments of "OMG UR ART IS SO KAWAIIii ^________^ DESU NE", that they have become accomplished artists and one day might move to Japan and become a famous manga artist.

Unrealistic Expectations in Online Relationships

Teh intarwebs can be great for dating, but you fail at it if you really think you're dating Naruto/Harry Potter/Sonic the Hedgehog. What makes matters worse is when you start to fall in love with the person playing a specific child's cartoon character.

The sad reality is that although you may be talking with your dream girl, you're more than likely talking to either Chris Hansen or a bot bent on passing the Turing Test. Srsly.

Other unrealistic expectations involve the unholy lol of terror, the infamous, much-feared long-distance online relationship. Common amongst the socially inept, (furries and the Renaissance Fair set), this involves unhealthy over-ideation on the part of both parties, and only ends with amazingly predictable heartache, tears, and dozens of e-friends signing off in the middle of an emo breakdown conversation.

Unrealistic Expectations on YouTube

DO NOT EXPECT:

• to find videos that are even remotely worthy of your time or attention.
• to find anything but pageview-spammed adverts and TV clips on the Todays Most Viewed videos pages.
• to find anything but whiney vloggers and their whiney comment-spamming friends on the Todays Most Discussed Videos pages.
• anyone to give a damn about what is on the other "Most" pages.
• to be able to reach the Top 100 most subscribed user list without being put there by a YouTube Staff member.
• to be able to obtain the help of a YouTube Staff member (eg. to get featured or placed on the signup_invite page) without sucking on the ego of a YouTube Staff member]].
• to be made a non paying YouTube Partner unless;
  • the YouTube Staff have already placed you in the Top 100 most subscribed user list,
  • you are advertising some sort of business from your YouTube account (and will therefore behave)
  • you have threatened at least once to leave YouTube forever
  • you have the home phone number of a YouTube Staff member (and have threatened at least once to give it out).
• to win a video making contest on YouTube. They are all rigged. No exceptions. All of them.

(This has been proven false by Monoclancer--you just need to lie through the whole thing.)

• a contest where you have to subscribe to enter to be anything other than a scam.
• any bet that you win to be honored.
• anyone to be telling the truth, especially not YouTube Partners.
• the private video you made for your boyfriend to remain private for very long.
• anyone to care when you leave YouTube.
• anyone to remember you when you come back.

Unrealistic Expectations on TOW

Wikipedia is notable for being full of unrealistic expectations; due to bias, misinformation and social engineering. It's unclear who to blame, nevertheless most point the finger at Jimbo Wales. While "keeping it unreal"; most Wikipedos enjoy developing articles on YouTube celebrities, and deleting unlicensed pictures FTW (ie Ichormosquito [1]). This process is recycled daily with the idea that some day the contributor (or user) will become an admin or ultimately an all powerful wiki-revisionist.

Some examples:

• Believing that no one will care that you're trying to get in the pants of a 16 year old
• Believing that TOW's internal systems are in any way shape or form fair and impartial or anything other than systemised exclusion.

College

After college, philosophy and english majors alike go out into the real world, all expecting to get six figure jobs or save the world.

The unfortunate reality for them is that neither will happen. In fact, most are likely to get an assistant manager position at McDonald's. The result of this reality creates three options for new college graduates: either accept the fact that you will be stuck in a dead end job for years despite having moar than $50,000 in college loans to pay off, and hopefully get a decent job after working as an overworked secretary at a rundown cash loans office, drop a few hundred thousand dollars to go to some sort of post graduate school, or become an hero.

An internets example is ragnarok20, seen exhibiting his percieved smartness here. What he fails to realize however, is that arguing on the internet FOR UR RITE TO PARTAY and studying philosophy in between 12 hour power sessions of Halo leads to the graveyard shift at McDonalds.

The essential truth of the matter is that all those people who spent all their time studying difficult, in-demand technical subjects have quite reasonable expectations that someone wants to pay them decent money to, say, manage a multi-tiered corporate network.

However, many quite naively believed that there is a magical job market for people with liberal arts degrees to do whatever they did in the process to get their liberal arts degrees -- this form of unrealistic expectations results from sheer laziness, and often leads to bitterly believing that Mexicans are stealing the job you so rightfully deserve.

Graduate School

Congratulations! An MA in History qualifies you to be a substitute high school teacher! Graduate school contains two types of people: people who think that getting a graduate degree automatically qualifies them for an amazing job, or people who have been in the workforce for a while and need the degree in order for a raise/better job. This section focuses on the first group.

People who failed in college, by wasting their parents money on numerous associate's degrees in philosophy think that by getting a MASTERS in philosophy, they'll somehow be better off. And sure, they enjoy being in school so they can talk about the political ramifications that Machiavelli has on the post-modernist theories of neoconservatism for $40,000 a year. However, after they graduate and they're finally away from the sacred halls of "academics", they realize that the past 2-4 years have all been a waste, and that their time should have been better spent at medical school.

Unrealistic Expectations in Popular Culture

Successfully moving from Late Night to Prime Time

See Also

• Unwarranted Self-Importance
• Aspierations