AOLFrom WhatPort80(Redirected from Usenet)
 AOL stands for America Offline and is sometimes referred to as AOHell or my crappy internets. One of the last surviving online services from the pre-home internet days. It originally offered an entire online system with limited internet access. Today it offers banal, mainstream content for an exorbitant fee and few useful features. It creates a warm, fuzzy, safe-feeling environment for those who fear being on the internets alone. AOL is now predominantly known as the ISP of soccer moms and a veritable myriad of other people with no internet savvy. It is also the largest ISP in the world. An irony about AOL is its creation and ownership of the AOL Instant Messenger system which is heavily used by many people who have a vehement hatred for AOL the ISP, but don't hesitate to use the AOL IM feature as it is so ubiquitous amongst internet users that there is almost no escaping it. In other words, you hate AIM but have to use it because all of your friends are too stupid to use anything better. Also, AIM is guaranteed to make your computer 100% slower. When AOL is referred to as an ISP, this is somewhat incorrect, AOL is actually considered a "content provider" as opposed to an Internet access provider. This is due to the fact that you must read at least a nominal part of AOL content before being given access to the raw Internet. But no one gives a crap. AOL will never stop billing your credit card. Never. AOL and Old PeopleAOL has many functions that your parents will never be able to comprehend, so when visiting them, make use of that fact. There are 4 steps to follow to confuse and scare your parents: When they come back, they won't have a clue as what to do next. If noone else is around, you can make use of this time to steal their money and leave. AOL CDs Back in the day when AOL was the predominant dial-up host, they offered these wonderful CDs to everyone. People soon found that these round plastic disks offered more fun than AOL could ever offer. Below are some usages of the disks that anyone living in the United States is bound to have laying around.: 
...and Many more! So you got the sack? Take a piss in the soup mateAt the start of August 06' after a frankly hilarious drop of about 16 million (lol, 50%) of the used since AOL's plateau, they swung into action cutting 5000 jobs worldwide while mumbling about its move from service provider to go and powder its nose. On 4th August foul noises were heard coming from the corner office at AOHell HQ. Concurrently, on a lower floor at the same location and at the exact same time a grateful soon-to-be ex employee was about to release the results of 500,000 AOL user searches in to the wild, amen. Much lulz ensued after some geeks actually trawled the 10 200mb .tex files and posted the most interesting finds around the internets. These go from the desperate, to the fully insane, typifying most AOL'ers mental states. Also AOL are now to offer free domain names to anyone that wants one. So they can now be the proud owner of the one you find and squat. AOLism, you're not alone. AOL as a great tool for vandalism AOL's system of changing IPs guarantees that if a wiki bans one person, they ban a lot. Also since your IP changes all the time, you can't be tracked down by your IP. Wiki vandals have been known to use this to their advantage in vandalism. AOL is now freeGoodbye AOL CDs. As of last Thursday, AOL has decided to offer its service free of charge to users who already have a high speed internet connection. Those still on dial-up will continue to pay a fee to use the AOL service. However, subscribers to the "AOL for Broadband" service, where you bring your own high-speed internet connection to the party, will no longer have to pay subscription fees. This will result in a projected 2 billion dollar loss in revenue for the company and will hopefully lead to their demise. AOL will also not continue to offer their customer support to these customers, eliminating their iron fisted TOS system and giving noobs and 16 year old girls everywhere a chance to really express themselves with talk of dead babies, use of the word butt, etc. This change in policy will of course also crush the soul of your mom, taking away her ability to stick it to the man by stealing paid services from AOL using fake names and credit cards. AOL SpeakYou're supposed to talk in all caps if you use AOL. It's part of their TOS. All users of AOL are 12 year old l337 wannabees. This is FACT. Take this article for example, rendered in AOL: Use this tool to generate AOL-speak. See alsoExternal Links
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